Every day for the past week, I spent at least twelve hours writing or working on this site. That’s REAL hours working. No browsing, no email, no chat.
None of the posts written are ready to be published. The site still doesn’t work or look as it should.
I didn’t get my beauty sleep. I didn’t even get my don’t-look-like-shit-sleep. The dogs did not decide to stop hunting every rabbit on the island, putting me through all sorts of things. My parents challenged me, as parents do. And, thank God it’s Friday, I just managed to smash my Macbook Pro Screen with the iMac’s keyboard. Couldn’t repeat that one if I tried it a hundred times.
I didn’t tell myself to stay calm. Not once. I just stayed with the pain as best I could, being open, as much as possible, to what was here, now. I failed some of the times. So I stayed with that. And kept walking in the general direction of who and what I choose to be. Being at peace. Including being at peace with red-hot anger.
This, here, now — looking at this week, being able to tell you about it — actually puts a smile on my face.
After a quarter century of working on myself, I’ve just proven myself that it was all worth it. That we are Hands that draw themselves, and that we can shape ourselves as we choose.
Three things I learned along the way:
Everything is good practice.
No matter what happens, you can use it to train yourself to stay present, to pick the most useful perspective.
Personality size matters
If you keep on working on yourself, your character will grow. And as you grow, there’ll be fewer and fewer things that can throw you off balance.
Of course, you’ll be hit with bigger things, too. But that’s all part of the game. All good training.
Forget staying calm
Staying calm is not something you do. It’s not a cause of things. It’s an effect of being centered in your being, allowing what is to be, without arguing. And choosing to move on down the road of your dreams. As hard as you can.
Good night, and much love